Teary day...

OK - so today was an interesting day. As you are aware, Jonathan is in speech therapy and today we had a session with the Speech Pathologist. During our sessions, my dear friend, Leigh Ann, lets Jackson come over and play with her kids, Eli (8), Jill (3) and Luke (10 months) - I guess she thinks she doesn't have enough to do as it is - ha ha ha! Anyways, I'm truly thankful for her willingness as it allows our speech sessions to go much smoother. OK - so back to today. Just before the therapist was about to arrive, Eli walked over to get Jackson and walk back to his house. Jackson is almost 4 so he hasn't walked ANYWHERE in the neighborhood without me or Brian but I trusted Eli and I knew that I would watch them until they were out of sight and by then Leigh Ann would be able to see them. So, I get Jackson ready and give him his "bag" with a drink & clothes in it (they were going to swim) and Jonathan and I walk him out the door and Jackson sees Eli walking our way. Jackson starts walking down our sidewalk, turns around and says, "Bye mom, I love you" and proceeds to cross the street (after looking both ways). He meets up with Eli, hands him his bag and you could just see them talking to each other. It was the sweetest thing I've seen and it made me tear up because I'm realizing how much Jackson is growing up. I'm so thankful for Eli and how he adores Jackson (because Jackson adores him twice as much) and Eli is such a nice young man. I can only hope all of Jackson's friends will have a heart like Eli's!!!

The other teary issue is Jonathan. During our speech sessions this week, one of the therapists pointed out her concern in Jonathan's oral motor skills and fine motor skills (?) - he is still drooling excessively and he "isn't holding his crayon correctly". After hearing her talk, I blatantly asked her is she believed Jonathan was autistic. She responded with, "Do I think Jonathan has some autistic characteristics? Yes. Do I think he's autistic? No." Well, I pretty much felt like someone had put 2 tons of bricks on my shoulders and just pushed me down. As a mom, you never want to hear (or admit) that your child has some delayed tendencies. It's always easy to just assume that everything is fine. But, I'm having to admit to myself that everything ISN'T fine with Jonathan and he IS delayed in his speech, oral motor skills and fine motor skills. So, what now? Well, when he turns 3 (in Feb), he will have the option to attend the Eclipse program at our local Elementary school. If he qualifies as a special needs child, then they will do therapy for him there and continue to work on improving his skills. Until then, we will just have to continue doing what we're doing and see how he tests. I think the biggest test is for me...is it hard to not communicate to our son who should be able to express himself by now? absolutely! Is it hard for me to constantly hear people talk about his delay? More than anything! Is it hard knowing that Jonathan can't play with his friends because they can't understand what he wants? It hurts more than you know. I'm trying to get through the denial stage and just move forward. I'm confident that he'll be "normal" when he's grown, but it's so hard to think that far ahead when all the trials are in my face right now. I'd love it if everyone would just keep us in your prayers and encourage us as we go through this battle in Jonathan's life. I know God has a plan for him and, knowing how miraculous God is, He'll probably have Jonathan be a public speaker one day. Until next time....